Tuesday, January 22, 2013

The Bachelor Ep3 - Call Guiness

This weeks episode of the Bachelor started off with, you guessed it, Sean working out shirtless.  Sean thinks his hotel weight room is Venice Beach. It appears Sean is trying to break the record for most-on-screen-bachelor-minutes-with-shirt-off.  Call Guinness.

Speaking of Guinness, the first one on one date with Leslie M Legs played a very pivotal role in this season's product placement.  I ordered 4 copies of Guinness Book of World Records because i couldn't wait to find out cool and interesting stuff like the world's largest penis, or the longest streak without sex, or the biggest orgy, or the biggest bra.  I realized quickly that none of these cool interest tidbits, and facts of life, are in this book.  Instead, there are cool and interesting stuff like the world's largest afro, or the the largest dog, or the smallest peanut, or the record for the shortest amount of time to drive all 48 states (held by the one and only - Sean's dad) and now the longest on-screen kiss!  WOWWWW!!  I hope you are picking up the sarcasm because I'm bringing it pretty heavy. 

Saturday, January 19, 2013

The Bachelor Ep2 - A Dumb Blonde With Muscles

This week's The Bachelor started off with about 45 minutes of previews of whats to come.  I turned the TV off after the previews and went to sleep..kidding..but i could have. Enough of the previews.  Is the show this bad that they have to show you clips of the entire show in the beginning and every time they goto a commercial (which is every 5 minutes).  I can't imagine not watching this show on the DVR.  What torture.

Saturday, January 12, 2013

The Bachelor Ep1 - 50 Shades of Wine

The first episode of this seasons The Bachelor proved once again that women will do ANYTHING to be on tv.  This was proven more than once when a token fell on her face while performing a back flip for the Bachelor - talk about first impression, a sloshy drunk took to her strange and over-the-top addiction to a certain character named Christian Grey exhibiting her rare talent-to-be with a tool called a necktie that she exuberantly played peek-a-boo with a few times keeping it out harms way in her breasts, a drug-induced? bride-to-be who through it all out there, literally, by wearing a wedding dress, a second-chancer Kacie B makes her way back to once again make an ass of herself - poor girl, and finally a Bachelor who resembles Steve Sanders from 90210 who just can't, for the life of him, keep his shirt on - we get it, you have abs.

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

American Horror Story: Asylum ep1 - Welcom to Briarcliff

Sadistic doctors, spooky nuns, homosexual and interracial relationships, snooty reporters, repressed sexual impulses, extra-terrestrials and the front man for Maroon 5 getting his arm ripped off are just some of the strange and bizarre, yet incredibly scary and entertaining, things we saw on the premiere episode of American Horror Story season 2. 

Friday, April 27, 2012

American Idol Week 8 Results - One Strange Night

Jimmy and Friends showcased 3 acts last night.  The first was a Queen ensemble group called the Queen Extravaganza, basically an attempt from Queen to franchise the name and make lots of money. The lead singer was very good but certainly not Freddie Mercury.  Good golly was that young man sweating after 1 song.  There were like 15 people in the group.  Yesterday was "Bring your kid to work day" so perhaps this is why we saw young and old rocking it out on the stage.  Looked like a family reunion at one point.  Then the guitarist decides to do a back flip because this is cool i guess.  He almost wipes out and looks like he badly hurt his knee as we never saw him again the rest of the song.  Then out came the 2 original band members from the shadows. Something about old rockers that just bothers me. Oh yes, its the fact that they are 80 and still trying to "rock" out with their long thinning gray hair.. booo.  The second act was Stefano.. more

Thursday, April 26, 2012

American Idol Week 8 - Queen of the night

Wrong Queen??

<-- Queen ruled the night on American Idol last night as the contestants belted out hits from the band as well as their own personal song choice.  It was a night of some amazing singing; maybe the best so far on the show. There was also a missing factor - Jimmy.  Perhaps, this is why they sang so good?  Tommy Hilfiger has slowly been vanishing in the shadows of the advertisement world on the show, as well.  Maybe he realized that nobody is buying Tommy Hilfiger except men in their 50s who clearly don't watch the show.  He will NOT be missed. 

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

The Real Housewives of NJ - The Cookbook

"All i know is when i buy a cookbook, i want the fucking recipes.  I dont give a fuck about a carwash or friends" - Rosie Bart

Excellent point, Rosie, and i couldn't agree with you more (since you are my wife and i HAVE to agree with you). 

A cookbook is defined as the following (courtesy of wikipedia):

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