Tuesday, October 23, 2012

American Horror Story: Asylum ep1 - Welcom to Briarcliff


Sadistic doctors, spooky nuns, homosexual and interracial relationships, snooty reporters, repressed sexual impulses, extra-terrestrials and the front man for Maroon 5 getting his arm ripped off are just some of the strange and bizarre, yet incredibly scary and entertaining, things we saw on the premiere episode of American Horror Story season 2. 



We are introduced to the former Tuberculosis-hospital-turned-mental-institute named Briarcliff Manor by a young couple who are on their "haunted honeymoon" - a thrill ride around the country visiting some of the most haunted places - and are investigating the asylum looking for a place to shag.  The beginning of any typical horror movie.  The young buck decides to stick his arm where he shouldn't, flashing his iPhone taking videos, in a mail slot in a locked up scary room.  Apparently something inside either really wants an iPhone or doesn't approve of the man's sleeve tattoos and decides to rip off his arm.  

Adam decided to spray paint over the Bloody Face graffiti image to something more satisfying.

Flashback to 1964, we see a young man named Kit at a gas station getting some shit about gas being 30 cents.  He goes home to his new secret wife, a light-skinned black woman.  Let's not forget its the 60s and this is a NO-NO.  Evidently, aliens think the same as they shoot bright, flashy, blinding lights at them and kidnap the wife.  We find out through flashbacks that she was skinned and he is the main suspect.  We also learn that Kit aka Bloody Face is responsible for 3 other murders that were performed in the same fashion as his wife.  Are aliens setting poor Kit up?? 

Thanks to ET's loving affair with Michael Jackson, the "racism" stereotype has been lifted. 

A redheaded journalist pulls up to the now not decripit hospital, Briarcliff Manor.  Inside, we meet Sister Judith who likes to shave the heads of the naughty inmates.  This one in particular is Shelly, played by slutty Chloe Sevigny.  She confronts Kit and tells him that this place is bad and asks if he wants to shag.  He should have said yes.  Instead he got a beating by the other inmates as French music blazed in the background while Sister Jude turned her back and let it all go down.  Dam nuns. 


We find out that the redheaded has a girlfriend.. another no-no in 1964.  This sets up the next set of events when the curious redhead reporter decides to go snooping around outside the mental hospital after dark. Who does this?   She catches a manic nun feeding something in the woods.  There is some panic and some strange noises and the 2 of them run back inside the asylum.  Bad move redhead.  Sister Jude catches the reporter and its on like donkey kong.  Immediately, she is "admitted" against her own free will.  Sister Jude pays the girlfriend a visit and makes her sign commitment papers against her girlfriend or they will be exposed.  We can only assume that this would mean major consequences for a lesbian schoolteacher.  What a C of a girlfriend if you ask me!!!

Here are some possibilities of what is hiding in those woods (ignore the fact that it is 1964 please):

Yowzers
Still trying to sell his products from the dead. 

Give the monster what it wants! 
HIDE THE CHILDREN IMMEDIATELY!!!!
Big Bird is ready to kick some shit if Romney is elected! 


Back at the hospital, we are introduced to a Dr Arden.  He is the loony tunes doctor who "treats" patients.  Apparently, he is doing more than that as there are patients with no family history missing.  One can only assume that the missing patients are what the nun was feeding outside.  For reasons unknown, he has Kit all tied up and ready to go.  He wants to torture him but first notices a bulge in his pants. I'm kidding.. it was his neck.  He pulls out what looks like a small chip that comes alive and runs away.  WTF!   


Sister Jude and the Dr clash when the nun catches the Dr cleaning a room that looked like it was used as a splatter house.  The Dr needs to scrub a little harder to get those stains out. What the hell was the room being used for?  Kit can't be dead yet.  Not this soon. 

Some things to ponder..

What tore off Adam Levine's arm in the mental hospital in the present time and why?  The answer to this is simple.  Bloody face needed an iPhone BAD.  He's been hearing about them for years but just couldn't get out to get one.  Now he has one.  And a tattooed arm as well!  The problem is he will only have about 1 hour to play with the phone because Apple's batteries suck balls.  On a side note - the couple go on "haunted honeymoons" across the country to famous haunted places.  Is the "Murder House" from Season 1 on their list?  Will be interesting to see. 

What is up with the Dr?  Dr. Arden is very peculiar.  The show does not hold back with surprises.  No.  This guy is clearly doing very bad things to his patients.  We just don't know what yet.  There are mutants outside that apparently have to be fed and we can only assume, for now, that these are the works of the Dr.  He probably was just lonely one night and thought it would be fun to make a few pets.  Will be very interesting, and I'm sure disturbing, to see what these things are and what exactly he is doing.  If they are like Gremlins and cannot be fed after midnight, then we are all majorly screwed!

Is Kit Bloody Face?  Ahh..good ol Tate.. i mean Kit.  Poor guy is always getting looked at differently.  In this season he is secretly married to a black woman who was skinned to death as well as 2 other woman.  He is the main suspect and even gets a sweet nickname, Bloody Face. There are some flashbacks we see of Kit getting anal probed by some aliens and other weird shit going down just prior to his wife getting skinned. My assumption is that aliens were succumbed to the racism in the 60s and decided to "kill" this secret wedding as fast as possible.  I'm sure we will learn much more about Bloody Face as the show goes on. I can simply say this:  American Horror Story LOVES to fuck with people's minds.  I wouldn't be surprised if we are to believe that Kit did NOT do these terrible things only to find out that he really is in a mental hospital all along and is crazy.  The show has done some very BIG twists in the past. This one may be too obvious though. 

Aliens..really?  As I stated above, let's not jump to any conclusions just yet.  The show is probably messing with us.  I hope.  But what the fuck is up with the walking bug-chip that was in Kit's neck?  I have absolutely no answer for this just yet.   

What is up with Grace?   Does the name Grace imply anything?  Is she Kit's saving Grace?  I'm going all out right now and saying she is not real.  I have not seen her talk to anyone else so far but Kit.  Is she a figment of his imagination.  But he takes a puff of her cigarette.  Speaking of which.. how the hell did she get down there and find Kit.    Hmmm... let's see. 



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