"All i know is when i buy a cookbook, i want the fucking recipes. I dont give a fuck about a carwash or friends" - Rosie Bart
Excellent point, Rosie, and i couldn't agree with you more (since you are my wife and i HAVE to agree with you).A cookbook is defined as the following (courtesy of wikipedia):
Cookbook
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
A cookbook is a kitchen reference publication that typically contains a collection of recipes. Modern versions may also include colorful illustrations and advice on purchasing quality ingredients or making substitutions. Cookbooks can also cover a wide variety topics, including cooking techniques for the home, recipes and commentary from famous chefs, institutional kitchen manuals, and cultural commentary.
Its the highlighted section i am worried about. Theresa Guidice read the definition of a cookbook and said "hmmmm, what a great way to share my parents recipes and backstab everyone of my friends in the process. It will be my "cultural commentary". It will be cute and fun."
The "Cookbook" that Theresa Guidice wrote is now the North Jersey Italian Bible for the Franklin Lakes Socialite Club or simply The Bible as we say in our neighborhood. Everything you Never wanted to know about Theresa and her friends are in this cookbook. Fuck learning how to cook spaghetti the "Italian" way. I want to know more about how "Italian" Caroline is.
Here is the quote that changed history (from The Bible):
“I can’t help it. Every time I sit down to write this intro to my Italian Family Cookbook, two things keep popping into my head: that cheesy Olive Garden commercial, “When you’re here, you’re family”; and what I said about Caroline Manzo when she insulted my meatballs on the Rachael Ray show: “Caroline’s as Italian as the Olive Garden.
If you read Skinny Italian, you know I’m not a huge fan of Olive Garden because it takes traditional healthy Italian dishes and turns them into heart-clogging servings of ungodly proportions. (Forget Jersey Shore, it’s the Olive Garden that gives us Italians a bad name!) I am, however, a huge fan ofCaroline Manzo. (Even if she’s only 1/16 Italian, or whatever she is …)”
OH NO SHE DIDNT!!!! Caroline is an Olive Garden 1/16th Italian?!!!! Holy fucking shit. This is heavier than when Ben picked C word on the Bachelor!! {major sarcasm people} Perhaps, Teresa didnt get the Olive Garden message. Ya know.. "When your here, you're family". Savages
Let the games begin
The way this season opens it is clearly evident that this cookbook will be the premise of the entire season. If this show is scripted then i must say that the writers should start making oscar winning movies. The first episode has the characters talking about the comments made about them in the Bible. We can only assume that this will escalate further as it always does with this show making Theresa the new and improved Danielle Staub. Whoever did the casting for this show should win an award for finding Theresa. She says: "(Forget Jersey Shore, it’s the Olive Garden that gives us Italians a bad name!)" No sweetie.. it's you and your friends and your family that give Italians AND NJ a bad name. The Ashlee Situation
It looks like Jacqueline, once again, has issues with her daughter. Here is my Jimmy advice (american idol reference) GET OFF THE FUCKING SHOW! OR.. STOP BRINGING YOUR DAUGHTER IN THE SPOTLIGHT. Seriously, you have a young girl who has to deal with becoming an adult and on top of all that you have cameras watching in on your life for entertainment. Fuck all that jazz. If your daughter is soooo important to you then get her off the show. This, i believe, is what they are trying to do by sending her to her brother's house in Vegas. Vegas? Of all places. This girl is partying like a Hilton and they send her to Las Vegas to get her life in order. GREAT MOVE! Let's see where this goes. Btw.. digging on the blond hair. Even looks more of mess. Love it!
Get your Steroids here...
is what Joe Gorga should start saying on the show. Good Lordy is he a beast. Jersey Shore aint got shit on him. I find it hard to believe that a "builder", who is soo busy, has all that time to work that hard in a gym. I'm sure he got a little help from his friends. The guy is a beast. Sylvester Stallone should have put him in The Expandables 2. He would have fit right in. No, but seriously, he should start plugging his steroids and make some money off it. I can see a new Steroid book in teh making and in their he bashes his brother in law.
The Apology
Theresa sort of apologizes to Carolin about her comments she made about her in the Bible. There is some BBQ or something at the Manzo's house in which everyone is at. In comes Theresa. There is some tension and Theresa asks Carolin to step outside to talk. I like how they go all the way outside to talk when they could have went into one of the 57 empty rooms that Carolin has in her house. To show her love, Theresa gives Carolin a copy of the cookbook aka Bible. This is like having a chef make you another steak after the first one you ate gave you a shit festival for a week. I cant wait to see more fighting. Theresa ALWAYS puts her foot in her mouth. Its so great.
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| We all know what happens when you fuck with the family |
The Arrest
Apparently, Joe Guidice has been having some fun over the last few months. From what the tabloids say he has been cheating and wining and dining with other fake Italian bitches over the summer. But his arrest.. well dannybart.com has the exclusive right here:
Teresa Giudice’s husband Joe Giudice has rejected an offer of a guilty plea with prison time. Teresa Giudice has said little about Joe Giudice’s legal troubles since they erupted last year. The latest troubles for the RHONJ star do not stem from previous financial issues. Rather, the current case derives from Joe Giudice’s DUI arrest in 2010.
On January 14, 2010 Joe Giudice was arrested for a DUI. He was later convicted of the DUI offense. His license was suspended. In the weeks that followed, Joe was arrested for driving allegedly with a suspended license. He was placed in Morris County jail in Morristown, N.J. for ten days.
But Joe Giudice’s legal troubles didn’t end there. Giudice is accused to taking his brother’s Pietro Giudice’s marriage and birth certificate to get a fraudulent driver’s license at the Paterson, N.J. DMV. That application is the core of RHONJ’s current troubles.
In December 2011, Joe Giudice was indicted on criminal charges. NorthJersey.com claims that the Passaic County Prosecutor’s Office in January 2012 offered Giudice a plea deal.
Reportedly, that plea deal would involve Giudice agreeing to a guilty conviction and having any prison term capped at five years. But Giudice rejected the offer.
Joe Giudice is currently charged with second-degree wrongful identity use and forth-degree impersonation. If found guilty of the second degree charge, he faces ten years in prison; the forth degree charge carries in contrast only a possible eighteen month prison term
What a fucking tool bag. This guy is just a typical Jersey crook. I'm surprised he is not into politics. He'd fit right in. I SOOOOO HOPE that he goes to jail. That will be epic. And no.. i dont feel bad for the kids. You see those brats??
A few things....
Joe's son is taught how to pee.. soon he will teach him how to shoot steroids.. the right way.
Is the Real Housewives looking to cop a deal with the Jersey Shore as Joe Gorga clearly would fit right in on that show. He is such a gorilla.
When the hell did Joe and Theresa get 6 wolves? Did you see the size of those dogs? There were like 5 of them. Are us taxpayers paying for that dog food as well?
The "life coach" had ears like Yoda. I like how he calls out Jackie about raising her kids just as her little son starts to run away and doesnt listen to his mommy. HAHAHA
Is it me or do ALL the major decisions in the Gorga's household take place in their HUGE closet??
The Gorgas bought a "small" house down the shore thats bigger than my house. I would love to see what "big" looks like to the Gorga's. I bet Joe thinks his body is "small" as well.
Its gonna be a GREAT season!!!! Later bitches
