Jimmy and friends' result show last night was one for the ages. America chose Jessica to go home causing what amounted to World War 3, the reality TV version. Prior to the show, Ryan Seacrest posted on twitter the following: (Courtesy of facebook friend and fellow dannbart.com reporter Lindsay McCabe)
And when Ryan tweets something like this you know shit is going down. {major sarcasm being used here people}
so going into the night we expected something BIG.. and not JLo's booty which was prominently on display when she bum rushed the stage to grab Jessica's mic but we will get to that later..
Prior to the shenanigans we had James from last season come out and slay it. He kicked ass. That was a really good song. I was a big fan of him last season. I'm glad to see him doing well.
We had Ryan put the contestants into 2 different groups because why wouldn't he just say the "person going home is..." and get it over with already. I mean the show seriously could be shorter than a commercial if they really wanted to. But no, instead we had to watch Ryan strategically place the contestants into 2 different groups and then have Skyler, the first one saved, pick which group she should go in. When a reluctant Skyler backs out of the game, Ryan flutters and realizes that she HAS to go into a group, so he brings her back and clumsily puts her in Colton's group which means they are safe. The quick, clumsy impromptu act of Ryan clearly showed he almost lost control of his game.
Ryan announced the bottom 3:
Elise
Josh
Jessica
Josh is immediately saved and, i thought, ok.. Ryan's Twitter can simply mean that the bottom 3 was a shocker; Elise is definitely going home. But no, Jessica's name was called. My heart sank and i immediately thought of Titanic and the song and thought Rose moved on after Jack's death. I can move on too as i tried to shrug it off that my #1 pick has just been voted off. She will definitely be saved, i thought, especially since the judges already said they will use their save for this bottom 3. Then she started to sing.... The Spaghetti Incident
Like crazed fans at a Beatles concert, people started to bum rush the stage. I wasn't sure what was going on. It happened so fast. Then i noticed a big beautiful orange booty and i thought Hey i know that booty and saw it was JLo, accompanied by the other judges. JLo jumps in and grabs the mic from a confused, shaken up Jessica, and says "This is CRAZY.. no no girl. you are saved. you don't have to sing" or something in those words. As this was all going down, the camera men and producers were trying to figure out what shots they can get as we saw a frazzled Ryan come running out trying to restore peace, reminding me of a rap battle turned to fist-ta-cuffs in the golden days of hip hop. Finally, Ryan somehow is able to squeeze his little Kermit-the-frog-body in between Randy's huge belly and JLo's booty and try to bring this to order. Like a judge hitting the gavel, Ryan attempts to speak only to get talked over by a crazed fan known as The Judges. Eventually Ryan is able to calm the situation and our hearts, and reassures that the judges will indeed use their save. Immediately, Randy grabs the mic and says "We are absolutely saving Jessica Sanchez". Then goes on a plea to America to make sure you vote for the best voice in the show and in America and for her age. Now, if i was Colton or Josh or, shit, even Hollie i'd be like "Dude.. what about me". That was kind of a lame thing to say. The judges certainly dont show favoritism {major sarcasm again}
My Jimmy Advice
Jessica is a phenomenal singer BUT she is only 16. She dresses and acts like she is in her 20s so i can clearly see how teenage girls would NOT vote for her. If she acts like a 16yr old then perhaps she would get more votes BUT this doesn't happen because you have Jimmy and friends, including Tommy, telling her to be something that she is not. My Jimmy advice would be to sing something current and poppy next week. Dont try to sing another diva song. You have to dumb down your performance for these little girls and show them that your game young lady!! AND..stop telling people you have been working hard at this your whole life! Your fucking 16...not 46!!! Fuck.. Susan Boyale can say this.... NOT YOU!
So this week's save means 2 people go home next week. I have Jessica as my #1 and at this point i am going to be doing diaper duties for 2 weeks.. FUCK!! --> Bart Contest
