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| So does Blakely |
Having gotten that out of the way what did we learn last night..
Kasey B Date
Ben's first date was with Kasey in his hometown of Sonoma....awwwwww as every woman watching this said i am sure.. I said YUCK.
Couple things on this date:
Kasey starts an awkward conversation by stating very very nervously "when i was little.. i used to". NOw what secret can she hold that makes her soooo nervous to tell Ben. Lets have some fun with this..
When Kasey was little she used to _____:
- pee standing up?
- wear men's underwear?
- masturbate with a cucumber?
- bake meth?
- do her brother?
- tie her bra around her head and yell IM MICKEY MOUSE BITCH?
- get anal probes by aliens?
- dream about one day marrying someone who makes beer?
- wear Cavaricci's?
- sing and know all the words to "Do the Bartman"?
Ok so those last 2 were about me!.. Anyways.. no no.. the answer to her "when i was little.. i used to" is actually .. drum roll.. Twirl a baton! What the shit?! If i was Ben i would have been like.. seriously? Didnt every girl do this at one point in their life. Then call her a cab and kick her off the show for lack of suspense!!
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| Oh Kasey |
Because of the answer i think Ben decided to take her to the Olive Garden for dinner.. what a dump. Kasey looked like a space cadet.
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| great date Ben |
The worst date i have ever seen.. of course he gave her a rose
During dinner Ben says he wanted to do the bachelor cause it worked for him once.. ummm.. no it didn't.. she said no you dumb ass. Did it work for you because now you are a reality "celebrity" cause then it definitely did. Or did it work that you fucked Jennifer Love Hewitt because of the show??! .. maybe i am starting to look like this guy after all!
After dinner Ben decides to take Kasey to see a movie??! umm.. it better be Avatar or Inception or something EPIC!!! umm.. no it wasn't. it was a home movie of Kasey and Ben when they were little youngsters craving reality fame. It reminded me of a beginning of a wedding reception.
Some highlights of the video:
Ben:
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| Seriously Ben?? |
and Kasey:
After the date my wife, rose, said "she's a frontrunner".. i say boooo
Group date
So the first part of this date consisted the girls to perform a play or something in front of young children. They had to be under 12. I am not sure but as i said earlier Blakely's outfit was crazy young on her. It looked like it could have fit one of the young girls barking orders.
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| umm.. excuse me (whispers) your balls are showing.. BUMBLE BEE TUNA |
couple things during the play:
The kids were more entertaining than the girls
HOLY LORD.. one of the bad ass kids asked Blakely aka VIP do jog in slow motion with her stripper outfit on. GENIUS. This kid should become president.
Bens accent was almost as bad as me imitating any nationality..for those who really know me my accents are horrendous and they all sound Indian.
That play fucking sucked.
Rose Bart "there are some fucking ugly people in Sonoma. Good Lord". My wife rules.
Why does the show have to show you the entire show before going to a commercial!? what the fuck is that all about.
The Pool "Party"
During the pool party, Ben wanted to know where VIP's (Blakely) style comes from. Basically what he is asking her is which strip club do you work at.. id love to meet you there for a dance. Samantha had a Jenna
moment and HATES Blakely saying she is a cougar.. but i think that Samantha is older than her.. so how is she a cougar. I am so confused. Ben had crazy game in that pool working his wine-making-playa ass having a chicken fight with all the girls.. well played Ben.
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| Where does your style come from?? |
During a part in the show when they are in the pool I noticed a sign to indicate the depth of the pool that said 4' 12".. why wouldn't it just say 5'... this is just as confusing as this date. There were tons of candles lit all around the pool. I feel bad for the shlep who had to light all those candles.. fuck
Blakely continues to wear a bathing suit during the pool party. I am not sure why she would decide to wear more clothing in the water than what she had earlier on in front of 7 year olds. During the interaction between VIP and Ben, the other girls get agitated of course. Then Ben and Blakely kiss (do you remember where you were??) and the girls freak out. Ben kisses like the couple from the Virgin Diary (blog will be in hte works).
Courtney Date
First off GOOD LORD IS COURTNEY UGLY WITHOUT MAKEUP.. and to top it off she quoted Charlie Sheen's "Winning" which truly shows she is a LOONEY!! She wore one of the worst outfits ever on her date.. isnt she a model?? perhaps she needs to get dressing lessons from Blakley
Ben decides to bring his dog Scotch. Scotch rules.. the dog is cool too. Courtney is with Ben for 20 minutes and says 'its just there'. Unfortuantely they did sorta have a connection but who i am to judge. I am only here to make fun of it all. Poor Kasy had to watch home videos of herself when she was 3 but Courtney gets like a bad ass dinner under the Sonoma stars. I'd be pissed if i was Kasey.
Couple things..
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| Now this guy knows how to party |
Courtney looks special
Courtney's reasons for not being able to keep a man was a little strange.. umm.. yeah you know I don't want to go Hollywood every night or i don't want to date actors..or wake up and see another pair of underwear.. Shit Ben get her to keep talking!!!?? we gotta hear these stories.. Who's underwear.. What the??
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| Typical night of drinking-next-morning for Courtney |
of course she got a rose.. btw.. ben had major wood on that swing
Some funny notes:
Courtny doesn't wear her heart on her sleeve.. but she does wear her Rose on her sleeve! She loved showing that thing off.
Lindzi had to kill 17 pink flamingos for that outfit and apparently likes to play in dirt..keep her!!
Blakely describes how it felt to get her rose like how she is in the champagne room with her clients
Blakely pulled an i-got-the-rose-and-am-safe-but-im-gonna-come-in-and-ruin-your-time-with-others on Samantha.. MEOWWWW.. let the fights begin
Blakley says she has a stong personality and she believes in god.. oh and her tits are not real
Blakely did it again.. an i-got-the-rose-and-am-safe-but-im-gonna-come-in-and-ruin-your-time-with-others aka the Blakely situation
Jenna tried to burn the place down by dropping a blanket on the candle... oh the irony.. She then reveals that she is a man or some shit.. then blah blah blah about i don't know what. Ben was thinking totally about Blakely's outfit from earlier in the day.
and there Jenna goes crying again...
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| You will certainly be missed Jenna. |
seriouly i can't look at jacklyn
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| Jacklyn??? |
Britney is thinking about her grandmother.. her eyes are soo far apart
Why was Blakely curled up in a ball in the corner of the room with all the suitcases. Was she trying to make like a suitcase and leave??!
Jenna got the boot and somebody else who obviously wasnt interesting. The choice to kick out Jenna was good. She has serious issues and just wasnt interesting anymore. I thought for sure she would be fighting with everyone in the house but instead it was just herself. Cant wait to subscribe to her blog!!!
Until next week....
