Ok with that said let's begin..
Ben and his bitches were in Belize this week. N word Be-lizzzee as i say to my homies. This episode was not a fav of mine. In fact it was quite boring almost as boring as these girls.. except Courtny of course. Its funny to me how the girls are all suddenly "falling for Ben" after going on like 3 dates with teh guy with 17 other women. God knows what the dates are really like with all the "reality" over produced drama that the producers add. Regardless, i chuckle this time in the show when they have falling for the Bachelor/Bachelorette. Because at the end of the day these bitches arent trying to find true love as they solemnly swear. No, instead they are trying to win against one another. Last bitch standing. Who doesnt want that prize!!
So where to begin... i wasnt a big fan of this episode and to be honest didnt really find any OMG moments except of course for Courtney so let's just have a little fun. This week is special because 2 girls will go home and the rest take Ben to meet their families. I cant wait for next week. I will put all my Bachelor eggs in the basket. I promise my best work next week.. But for now
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| We need to have Nikki Minaj's peeps come in and do this to Ben. He is possessed by Courtney and her CTD (Courtney Transmitted Disease)!! |
One on one date - Lindzy or however you spell this bitches name. Why the puzzling way to spell it.. shit thats like my parents naming me Danuel because it is different! ugghh
Ben decides to take Lindzy on the first one on one date. He decides to take a girl who is scared of heights in a helicopter and make her jump into what looks like a giant vagina in the ocean. She panics and Ben is not having it. I thought for sure he was going to just push her in. that would be some funny shit. Of course he did not. I think one of the main reasons that Lindzy does not want to jump into the water is the fact that she is wearing 17lbs of makeup on her face. Why does this bitch wear so much makeup? Well we found some pictures of her before the show. This certainly explains alot!!!
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| Producers have been trying to keep quiet that Ben has been beating the women especially Lindzy. But this was taken just prior to their last date.. dam shame. |
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| It has also been reported that Lindzy is actually Seal hence all the makeup |
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| Bruce wanted to be on the show soooo much that he opted to dress as a woman. Nicely played Bruce! |
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| This is the real Lyndzi folks. The producers DO NOT want you to see this picture! |
The show is currently under investigation and another season next year is pending. This is because the EPA is coming down hard on the show for Ben's random act of littering the ocean by playing child-like message in the bottle games with a stranger. No but seriously Ben if you are going to throw a bottle in the ocean... throw the fucking thing.. Dont just toss it 6 inches away from you and expect that motha to set sail north across the ocean to the blokes in England. Anyways, after 6 months apparently the bottle was indeed found.. but not where it was intended. Instead it was sitting at the same dock where it was thrown. Nice job Ben. And someone from TMZ has reported what the actual notes says:
To my family, friends and fans of the show,
I believe i have found true love on this show and no it is not with this bitch who is sitting next to me. The woman that i love deeply is Courtney. The way she plays with her hair whenever she talks is just sooo cute and sexy. Her super overly moisturized head really really gets me going. And her 1 eyebrow that seems to get longer and longer each day makes something of mine get longer and longer. Her la la la style of talking puts me in a trance. I am head over heels in love with Courtney!
Love,
Ben
The above note clearly shows that Ben is suffering hardcore from a CTD (Courtney Transmitted Disease). Poor Ben. Let's hope he pulls through..
and now Lindzy's:
Im like sooooo happie to be hear and like soooo falling in love wit this gie. I like soooo want to bee with this gie for like ever. OMG he is sooo sweet and cute just like my daddie.
I <3 Ben FFE
Ben and Lyndzy 11/4/10 Forver and ever and ever
Love,
L
oh boy another blonde letter.. shizer!
Next up is the one on one date with Emily. Not much to say here except that she had a kick me sign on the back of her dress or something. During their date they go bike riding and i could have swore that i saw Ben and Lyndzy's bottle in the hands of one of the locals. The 2 decide to go snorkeling which by the way Ben totally got beat by that man on the price to snorkel. These locals know how to play the game son.
During their snorkle session the show had to move them to different locations due to certain life threatening situations. Here is some never-seen footage:
Luckily nobody was injured.. wheww... another close call..
The 2 were able to eat the dinner that they caught.. Looks delicious:
One on One - Courtney
I can go on and on about Courtney as i usually do. She is a go getter, has no interest at all in Ben and only wants to beat the girls at this game... whats not to love! Instead lets sum it up:
Worst Date - Ben takes Courtney to the most famous Mayan ruins and instead of taking in this magnificant experience Courtney decides to cry about how she doesnt think that Ben loves her anymore. Very well played.
Best WTF moment - During the commercials i saw a Desperate Housewives preivew. This fucking show is still on the air??!!!
Best WTF moment 2 - Niel Lane completely sold out btw and is now selling diamonds for Kay Jewelers because nothing says extravagance like Kays
Most clear moment that Courtney is not liked by anybody on and off the show but Ben totally still doesnt get it - During a conversation about the girls in the house not liking Courtney, she goes on about not caring and has lots of friends back home.. most of them being men. Hmmmmmmmm.. if this isnt a sign that this bitch is a total whore im not sure what is.
Biggest win - Courtney gets the rose over Emily clearly proving that she is "Winning"
Best line - My wife: How long do you give her until she she takes her clothes off (upon entering the jungle)
Biggest question unanswered - How the hell did Ben and Courtney get down from the top of the temple??
Biggest sign of CTD - Ben gets a talking to about him not loving Courtney and he totally folds and tells her that he is suprised that she is feeling this way. Then after hearing she has guy friends totally still gives her a rose.. even after every girl in the house told Ben that Courtney is a C word. Again.. biggest sign of a CTD is pure confusion. Poor guy.
Worst line - Ben says "Oh My Dad".. i guess its an awwww moment but i threw up a little in my mouth
After the show i did a little of my own research and had someone hack into Court's cell phone. Here are some of things we found:
- Tiger Woods sexts
- Charlie Sheen invite to come over to be a Goddess
- Jesse James phone number
- Brett Favres penis
- Anthony Weiner's weiner and other things
- A blackmail text to David Letterman that she will exploit their affair if he doesnt pay her
- a picture of Hugh Grant in drag
- texts back and forth between Ashton Kutcher describing how the media is onto them
Group Date
Ben takes the girls on quite possibly the worst date ever by waking their asses up at 4am and then getting them drunk at 6am only to swim with sharks at 8am. Well played. Rachel put that she is afraid of swimming with sharks in her resume and got a get out of jail free card. The girls got jealous because no-lips aka Rachel was totally stealing their time away from Ben. So while the girls are playing Tag with sharks, Ben is outside trying to kiss those tiny lips and having a hard time doing it.
Another Rosie Bart quote - "Rachel is totally a shark trainer in real life and just playing ben to spend more time with him"
This group date and episode sucked. Ben totally kicks off Emily and no lips and keeps Lindzy, Kasey B, Nikki and last but not least Courtney. Courtney is as cocky as Blakely's occupation.. get it? no?
Here is a preview of what the families will look like:
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| Courtney's family |
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| Lyndsy (or however the fuck you spell her name) and her family |
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| Casey B and her sisters |
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| Nikki and her family |
Until next week... spread my blog Be-Lize!!!!
