First lets get right to the obvious.. well at least for me (male brain). The fucking hotel looked identical to a vagina..no???
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| What the?? If anyone is looking for where the girls are staying just look for the giant vagina!! |
There was another "where-were-you" moment with Ben dressed up as a tribe member from Ace Ventura but first let's talk about that first date with Casey B.
One on One - Casey B
Ben and Casey B take a helicoptor from Pananama City to a deserted island in the middle of the ocean. They were each allowed to bring 3 things. Casey brought like bubble gum, a tampon and lipstick. What she should have brought was anti-frizz, a brush and some baby wipes for her sweaty vagina. Ben being the man he is brought a fishing net and some other shit. It was funny to see how bad he is at cutting down cocunuts. Where is Ozzy from Survivor when you need him!!
During the date Casey decides to open up to Ben and reveal a secret that in high school she was bulimic and annorexic. She tells Ben that she doesnt like to talk about it but feels comfortable to tell him.... and the rest of America. Now Casey will always be the girl with the smelly breath and bad teeth. Perhaps she should join http://www.mianaland.com (a pro bulimic website.. i am fan as well)
Why did the anorexic snort Splenda?
She thought it was Diet Coke.
Thats all i got.. oh and this
Ok im done..
sorry.. had to..
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| Daymmmmm.. that bitch in the mirror needs to lose weight!!!! |
Ok now i am done..
So where was i.. Oh Group Date..
Ben decides to take the ladies on a jungle expedition because nothing says romance better then trudging through muddy waters and hanging out with naked tribe members. Ben surprises the ladies and takes them to a small remote village that i think is where they filmed the movie Apocalytpo. Courntey sees a hut and thinks hmmmmmm.... here is somewhere that i have never had sex yet in. The girls have to dress up and do some kind of dance or some shit. Of course Courtney doesnt wear a bra as she shouldnt. Come on ladies.. wtf is wrong with you. Do you want Ben or what??!!! Well played AGAIN Courtney!!! And then the unthinkable happens.. ok... maybe not unthinkable .. thats a bad word because we all thought it would happen.. But Ben decides to come out in full Tribe Gangsta gear... oh my...
Ben is like the Flash changing outfits quicker than Superman..
he goes from this:
in like record time! Words cant describe this above picture.. im not sure what to say. I actually have nothing! Im embarassed i know.. I think my unborn daughter Ava actually covered her eyes as well.
Please if you havent read my prior blog for pics of Ben around the world: http://dannybart.blogspot.com/2012/02/bachelor-baseballs-and-skinny-dipping.html
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| A picture really can say 1000 words! |
After this "amazing" group date Ben decides to take the girls by the pool where they can get in their swimsuits and show off their beautiful bodies to Ben.. no this doesnt happen because Ben chose a bunch of prudes. Once again the only go-getter is Courtney. While some stranger named Jamie begins to talk to Ben about opening up Ben cannot concentrate because Courtney is putting on a strip show behind her back. As she should! Let's go ladies!!
Ben decides to give the rose to Lindzy maybe because she talks like she is 11.. ok and she is pretty hot too i will give her that. Courtney gets made because she blew Ben by the pool and still didn't get the rose.
Once again Ben begins to show signs of CTD (Courtney Transmitted Diseases):
- Courtney whispers in his ear to come to room 112 where the players dwell after the ceremony and he totally stays in his room and masturbates instead
- Emily aka Kendra finally doesn't talk about Courtney and attempts to make a joke and Ben laughs as if it was Chris Rock on stage making fun of white people
- Confusion is setting in allowing his brain to think that wearing a loin cloth is cool.. excuse me .. your balls are showing.. bumble bee tuna!
- and these below pictures say it all
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| Before and After the CTD.. This picture on the left was just taken days after the picture on the right.. before his Courtney encounter. You can clearly see the difference! Didnt even see it coming. |
2 on 1 date = AWESOMENESS!!!!
Who doesnt love a 2 on 1 date.. that is if you are the man.. Break the rules and just sleep with them both at the same time.. Shit it is not illegal for christs sakes. Ben's CTD is making him even more confused as he kicks off the second biggest slut on the show (that is until we meet Jamie), Blakely, and chooses Russian-look-alike Rachel. Rachel has no lips.. Blakely has a mouth that any MAN would love. Come on Ben.. what is wrong with you!? Rachel's past is embarrassing. If i google image her name i get nothing but goody girl pics of her on the show.. boooo.. but if i google image Blakley i get some really really good ones! Booo Ben. Your not really going to find true love on this show so take advantage and shag this bitch rotten on the overnights!!!!!
Blakely cries for seriously about 45 minutes on Ben's shoulder. Where is Steve Jones (ex X-factor host) when you need him? Perhaps Ben didnt like the fact that Blakely decided to wear a chastity belt on this date because she surely forgot to wear pants. I am not sure. I can only say this.. Blakley WILL be the star of the Bachelor Pad!! Cant wait!!!
The Situation!
Chris makes a surprise visit at the Vagina Hotel and takes Casey S aside. I assumed a family member died with the way the previews were teasing this.. No of course not.. instead she has a boyfriend or an ex boyfriend or a guy she is fucking or was fucking or still is or wants to or loves him but not sure she does love him but wants to not love him but cant help herself from loving him but knows that he loves her but doesnt want to go back to being single to going on the show to find love but not sure if love is the right word because being away from her boyfriend who is not her boyfriend made her think that she would get over him and the fact that she still loves him or doesnt love him but ... and over and over again. HOLY FUCKING SHIT!! THIS BITCH IS A DUMMMBBB BLOND AND AN IN THE CLOSET PSYCHO.. What in good hell was she talking about. She is laughing one minute then crying the next.. Then howling like a dog. I was soooo confused. Anyways Ben tells her to pack her shit and the get the fuck out of here. I sorta dont blame him here. She may be the WORST cryer i have ever seen!!
Casey returning home from the show...
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| ahh Casey.. perhaps put the cigarette down first before playing with gasoline |
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| This isnt right?? |
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| I thought i remember seeing Casey from somewhere!!! |
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| A diagram that Casey drew that she left at the house. |
The last time i saw crying like this:
Did you notice how long it took him to open the door for Chris and Casey. I think Courtney was blowing him and was interrupted by this Casey nonsense!
Rose Ceremony
Some girl named Jamie who i swear i have never seen before makes a surprise visit on Ben's lap. In one of the most awkward conversations i have ever witnessed with my 2 eyes and ears Jamie decides to ride Ben and in doing so i believe that she split her dress. Then tries to teach Ben how to kiss or something. I guess she was watching secret video of the show because DAYYYMMMM homeboy Ben kisses like one of those tribe people we saw earlier in the episode. Anyways, it gets weird.. really weird. So weird that i actually was hiding my face. So it is only natural for Ben to vote this crazy weirdo off the show. Btw.. who is she?? Where did she come from?? Have i ever even talked about her?? I think it is clear though that Courtney is now drugging the girls by putting acid in their drinks before they talk with Ben. This was clearly evident. We are on to you Courtney!!
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| Sorry... i had to! |
