I was surprised that they brought Will.I.Suck back out this year to critique and coach the finalists again. For one, he looks like a black John Lennon who just arrived from the planet Voltron. Also, every single hit that the Black Eyed Peas have had relied on MEGA auto-tuning and robot voices. So what gives this man the right to critique and judge singers in a competition when he uses robot voices in his songs! I don't get it.
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| Baby Lady Will? |
If i see another Beats advertisement on the show or comercials for it i swear i will throw my beats headphones out the window. In case you guys dont know, Jimmy and Dre teamed up with Monster Cable to make these headphones, hence everything and anything on the show with the Beats logo on it. <--
During the show, Ryan announced that Jermaine was sent home. We then see some "never-before-seen" footage of the gentle giant sitting with the producers. Apparently, this gentle giant was more like a gentle thug who was arrested 4 times with fake aliases and has warrants out for his arrest. I felt, at one point, i was watching The First 48 by the way the producers were questioning him. Michael Cain, aka one of the producers, told him he has to leave the show immediately. They then cut to a shot of him packing and heading to the limo to be taken to home or jail or somewhere. The best part of it all is that they played his song while he was leaving.. Genius. Here is some pictures that were found at the scene of his arrests. This guy clearly doesn't know who he is.
Poor guy..
Last night show's theme was "sing a song from the year you were born" which basically means "let's all us viewers feel like we are really really old". They should just rename this to 80's and 90's night. I mean seriously. They should also refrain from using remixes of songs. There were like 4 songs that were sang from other eras. However, because it was remade by an artist the year they were born it was ok. Boooooooo this.
Phillip, born in 1990, sang Black Crow's Hard to Handle. I think he has a cool voice but i can already tell that i will be getting tired of it really soon. His rendition sounded like his last weeks song which sounded like his other songs prior. I like his style but I wish i can move him lower in my rankings. It wasn't that great for me this week. Apparently, he had kidney stone surgery so, perhaps, this can alter your voice? If so, let's see how he does next week. My grade C
Jessica, born 1995, sang Turn the beat around. Yuck. I hate this song. Reminds me of a bad wedding. Will-IMA-Dick says that Jessica is a swagganaut. Is the term "swag" over by the way? You know it is played out when news reporters are saying it. Anyways, im a big fan of this swaggernaut and got her to win; so i cant judge. She was fantastic for me ;-) My grade B
Heejun, born 1989, sang Richard Marx's Right here waiting. I will agree with the judges; it wasn't that good. He does this whisper singing that drives me nuts. I don't know how to explain it but he sorta sings really low and quiet. He sounds like he has to fart or something and is trying to be quiet. Then when he sings on higher notes, he kills it! Hopefully America still likes his humor and keeps him around. I have him pretty high on my list :-( My grade C
Elise, born 1983 - dammmmmm she's old - sang Al Green Lets stay together which is a fantastic song. I wasn't paying attention to Elise's singing though. I kept thinking of the famous Pulp Fiction scene. The fantastic one-continuous-shot scene showing Bruce Willis getting a talking to by Marseilles Wallace in which he famously quotes: "That's pride fucking with you. Fuck pride. Pride only hurts. It never helps. You fight through that shit." while Al Green plays in the background. Dam.. i just got "goosies".. Where was I.. oh Yes.. Elise.. she certainly didn't take Marseilles' advice as she gave a fantastic rendition of this classic song proving that pride does NOT hurt. My grade A
Deandre, born 1994, sang Endless Love. I got dizzied as i questioned my wife about when this song came out. I thought it was in the 80s by Lionel Ritchie and Diana Ross. Not 1994.. i had to put my head between my legs and take deep breaths. Then i thought "oh, this must be from Happy Gilmore. You know, the famous scene where the ice hockey worker lip syncs to the song as Happy and the lovely Virgina skate passionately along to. (typical Adam Sandler scene which makes no sense at all). But then she confirmed that it was actually Mariah Carey's version. Nice try Idol. I can say this. He definitely gets his hair from his mom. I will say it again.. his name sounds like a villain in a James Bond movie; Deandre Brackensick.. daymmm. If only his voice was as cool as his name. I'm not a fan of this guy and I have a hard time looking at him, BUT he sang it very good. My grade B
Shannon, born 1995, sang One Sweet Day by Mariah Carey (apparently she owned the 90s). Will-I-Who? tells her to lay down and sing. I had alot of jokes about this last night but due to prospective sponsoring I will not go there. I will say this she sang like she was laying down on top of a car driving recklessly at 80 mph. Her voice was all over the place. Sometimes, it was soft. Then it was hard. Then it was high. Then it was low. It just didn't work for me dog. Speaking of dog, Randy name drops that he worked with Boyz 2 Men. Enough already! My grade D
Colton, born in 1991, sang a song that i have no clue and KILLED it. THIS Colton would kick the sh%t out of Colton from Survivor; thats for sure! (for my Survivor blogs click here). This guy is my favorite and am bummed i didn't make him my winner. DAMMM.. Pride was fucking with me and my decision. I can say this though, his jeans are tighter than spandex. Is this the trick to getting those high notes?? My grade A+
Erika, born 1985, sang Bryan Adams Heaven. A great song but it was a little boring for me. I don't know why. She sang it great but i caught myself checking my Facebook notifications and playing Draw Something in between. She did a great job though. My grade A
Skyler, born 1994, sang a Bonnie Raitt song which immediately equals ZZZZZZ in my mind. This beyotch didnt know any songs from 1994 that Jimmy and Will-Im-Gay* (*not that there is anything wrong with it) were giving her. Dam i feel old. Again, I was on the internet bored out of my mind. I looked up once and saw strangers singing with her on the stage.. weirdarama. However, she sounded great as always. My grade - NA
Josh, born 1991, sang Michael Bolton when a man loves a woman. Michael Bolton..haha.. Office Space? Anyone? Anyways, he KILLED IT.. in a good way of course. Wow. This dude can sing. I am little embarrassed of where i placed him in my rankings. He sounded a little like Sexual Chocolate in some parts but still really good. JLo had an orgasm during his performance. No, she really did. It got weird. Just prior to the performance, Ryan brings out a huge tub of crawfish which is Josh's favorite. Josh shows Ryan how to eat Crawfish and then took him backstage to show him how to eat something else. Apparently, crawfish, or whatever he ate, does a body good! My grade A+
Holly, born in 1993, sang Power of Love by Celine. Christ on a pony, it sounded just like her. At least to me it did. She did a great job with the song. I got "goosies" on that one. HollyCould? Yes, i did that. My grade A+
My favs - Holly, Josh, Elise and Colton
Who is going home? - I'd say Shannon
