Let's get right to it.. Ben picked Courtney aka the C word aka Patient 0 of the very quickly spreading Courtney Transmitted Disease (CTD) aka oily forehead with misplaced lower jaw that protrudes out when she talks making her look like a duck with small lips aka "America's most hated". Yes, thats right. He picked Courtney.
My Commentary = ZZZZZZZ
I can say this. I was a fan of her from the start. In my Bart opinion, The Bachelor is similar to another favorite tv show of mine, Survivor (you can find my blogs here). In Survivor, you have to outwit, outlast, outplay which is exactly what you have to do in the Bachelor. You can't go in and make friends with your boyfriend's other girlfriends; unless of course your name is Blakely and you are into that sort of thing. You have to be upfront and be in it to win it! And that is exactly what Courtney did. This go-getter proved that she wanted to "win" this game and she did while cleverly predicting by saying every 4 minutes "Winning"!
I will go out on a limb and say that i believe that Courtney was being genuine last night and last week on the "tell all" which, by the way, they did not tell all. I think the Courtney we saw last night and last week was the real Courtney and not the C word we saw on the show. Think about it for a second.. you go on a date with this guy who has a team of cameramen following him. He is dating 48 other women that you have to live with in a house that has cameras running all day long watching every move you make. On top of it all, the person you are dating looks like a monkey; so that is definitely not helping your cause. I think eventually you are going to crack. Perhaps, not in the first 5 minutes like Courtney did but you get my point. Now imagine every move you make somebody had a comment on it and posted it in magazines. You begin to receive death threats because you were being a bitch on a reality show. Let's face it.. its a reality show. Not the First Lady. Who gives a f&ck (due to possible sponsorship i will refrain from cursing for the time being) how Courtney acts. At the end of the day people, its a GAME!!! I think the game got the best of her. She won but did she win America's hearts? Borefest
Enough of my rambling.
Some interesting key moments from last night's episode:
- No need to recap the 2 dates with Ben's mom and sis. Each conversation was like 2 minutes and both girls were LOVED. I could say this though, Ben's sister totally looks like the Mortician Shawntelle with longer hair. And the mom looks identical to Ben. Its quite scary.
- Lindzi had 2 pimples on her face, called Texas and Arizona, that i couldnt stop looking at. I believe that Ben couldnt either and as a result she was sent packing.
- I should have started a drinking game. Every time Courtney touches her hair its a shot. Every time Courtney does that stupid little kid girl voice its 2 shots. And every time Ben and Courtney, potentially, could have had sex on the show its 3 shots.
- I am very surprised that wine advertisers have not showed up on this show (if thats even allowed?). They would make a killing. I really think the entire show everybody, including the people off camera, are wasted. How much money was spent on wine!? I mean, every single fcking shot there is wine! I can only imagine how bad their wine breathe must be.. gewwwww
- The BOM (Board of Models) have called a press conference to ensure that model stereotypes, as decpicted by Ben's family, are to be banned from all future airwaves. Nobody was available to comment as everyone on the board was throwing up.
- Julia Gulia, Ben's sister, states she was shocked on how nice Courtney was and that you cant judge a book by its cover. I'm wondering what she is saying now..
- On the date with Lindsi - she had 1 opportunity to shag Ben rotten and failed miserably. Courtney is competition as she allowed Ben to "fill" every one of her cavities.
- If you ever want to win a game show on love, write he/she a 10page note. Then, read it to your future lover. That note totally won Courtney the game. We paused that sh!t and read it. It was like something my wife would write me. It was perfect. "How could a model write something like this?" is what i thought until i realized i don't believe in stereotypes.
- How on earth did Courtney make a picture book? Did she blow one of the producers to get access to this?
- When Courtney said i have a gift for you, here is some of the things that ran through my head:
 |
| Ben's response would be "The water was cold" but only Courtney knows the real answer. |
- The "proposal" moment or whatever you call this. Courtney decides to wear a stunning black gown looking very HOT, i may add. Lindsi decided to wear a black ostriche with a Lord of the Rings cape. Perhaps Ben was going to pick Linsi, until she came out in that outfit and he completely changed his mind! OR he assumed Lindsi already had a RING..my precciousss
 |
| After the neglection, Lindsi ran like an ostriche through the woods |
- Another reason, perhaps, Ben had a change of heart is because Lindsi had 17 cups of coffee just prior to meeting him. The bitch wouldn't shut up when she saw him.
- I'll give Lindsi credit.. Kasey B got dumped on her 4th date and sobbed like her family died in a tragic Mexican drug cartel hostage situation and Lindsi, i believe, shed 3 tears!
- Courtney TOTALLY only cared about the ring when she said YES. She must have mentioned in 5 times just as he was standing up from proposing to her.
- Lindsi came on a horse and left on an ostrich
After the Final Rose
We learned that Courtney and Ben did in fact break up during the show was airing. Courtney was very emotional as was Ben. The crowd was hysterical. Girls will be girls, i assumed, until i saw what looked like Ben's sister in drag in the audience. Did anybody else catch that? (not that there is anything wrong with that, btw) Chris gives the ring back to Ben and he gives it to Courtney whom immediately says "Wow, the ring is so big". Nice way to end the season Courtney!
I believe there is a diary that Ben has been keeping that apprently has "gotten out" to the public. I will be blogging once i get my hands on it... Stay Tuned...
Some things i learned this season
Here are some things that i learned this season:
- That i cannot spell any of these girl's names on this show. I still have no idea how to spell Lindzy or Lindsi or Lindsay or Lindzi.
- Alot can be said from the music that plays after a contestant answers a question from the Bachelor's family. Last night we learned that if you answer a question correctly, nice sweet music is played. If you answer it wrong, then dark Danny Elfman-ish music is played. Imagine this happens in real life. That would be awesome
- People who blog are wusses, hence, the NY blogger from the beginning of the season who started a fight with Monica and then cried in a corner in a bedroom. Just a note.. i cried by the copiers at work last year after i heard that Justin Bieber cut his hair; so i can relate.
- A major goal in my life is to NOT have my future daughter (due May 16) appear on a reality show for love.
- After all my ranting about Courtney, it was Ben who did the cheating.. WOW!
"I did NOT kiss any of those girls" he said after Chris called him out on it after the show. hmmmmm...
 |
| Perhaps he just wanted to give her an eskimo kiss. Thats not cheating, right? |
 |
| "I totally didnt kiss her. You see what happened is I tripped and landed on her lips. Then, to get my balance, my hand grabbed her ass. I almost got really hurt if it wasn't for her to save my fall." Poor Scotch is all confused as he says "Yup.. there goes Daddy again!" |
- Theoretically speaking.. If i was single* (*DISCLAIMER - which im happily not) I would soooo be using Ben's player characteristics when breaking up with chicks. This guy just says "Sorry" every time and gives them the boot; even after he almost proposes to someone!
- Ben needs to seriously STOP licking his lips when going in for a kiss.. GrossOUT
- Neil Lane totally sold out
- If you want to travel the world and see some of the most beautiful landscapes and monuments, then go on the Bachelor.
- Next season or even for the upcoming Bachelorette (yes i will be blogging about this too), i will play a drinking game. Every time somebody says "In it for the right reasons" or "In it for the wrong reasons" its a sip of beer. I say sip of beer because they say this so much I would be out of work the next day!
- Never watch a season of the Bachelor again if the bachelor is a winemaker
That's all i got. Thank you all for reading and please follow me (click that button to the right that says Follow by Email. I have a fun time doing this and would love the continued support. Please check out my facebook page and become a fan by clicking below.
Check out my past Bachelor posts here.
Check out my past Bachelor posts here.
Up next.. "The lost pages of Ben's diary" .. coming soon
