The show opens with Shannon leaving the show. We see the other finalists crying their eyes out as they give hugs to Shannon as she says goodbye to her dreams of becoming America's Idol. Why the f are they crying? I hope they are tears of joy! It's a competition people! Get over it! You want people to go home. This isnt Polish* Idol! (* I am allowed to make this joke because i am polish. Sorry if i offended anyone)
Randy decided to go with his rubber ducky outfit. Did you see that thing? Did Tommy Hilfiger dress him?
The theme was Billy Joel night. Ahhh, the piano man. If Billy Joel heard some of these songs he would have crashed into another house. For the most part, most of the contestants did a really good job but some crashed and burned (pun intended.. im here all day folks).
Before i get into anything, WTF is up with Tommy Hilfiger mentoring the contestants on style. Did this become Americal Idol and Fashion Star or is there going to be a spinoff down the road? Seriously, its a waste of 2 minutes per contestant. If anybody needs styling tips its Tommy with his loose sports jacket and wrinkly shirt or perhaps this is fashion. Shit i dont know. Maybe i need Tommy to give me styling tips.
Deandre sang "Only the Good Die Young". I thought it stunk. He was told by Jimmy and Diddy to smile. Oh great, is all i thought. I HATE when he smiles. He looks like the Kool-aid man. I thought the bridge was good and his high notes were awesome when they were not in falsetto but it sounded like i was listening to a lounge singer in a old casino getting paid 50 bux a night. I felt like his vocals should have been stronger instead of his soft la-la-la-la'ing sound. My grade C
A couple seasons ago there were rumors that Paula was fooling around with one of the contestants. Well, this season it is uncertain but rumors have it that Ryan is hooking up with both Deandre and Josh. DannyBart.com will have the exclusive.
Erika sang "NY State of Mind". Prior, Diddy tells her she has to be a NY'er to sing it. I dont know what that means. Frank Sinatra sang the famous "Theme from New York, New York" for Martin Scorcesse's film New York New York and he was living in Palm Springs, CA at the time. Interesting. Tommy Hilfiger tells Erika to cut her hair; so she does. We see a quick glimpse of her in the salon getting her hair did but have to wait for the live show to see it. I was expecting something like this:
But instead we got this:
I gotta say it looks really good. Now if only Elise can take some makeover advice. Good Gravy! It looks like a completely different person. I think the real Erika left the show for personal reasons and the producers needed to think of a quick solution. So they had Tommy suggest to the real Erika to get a haircut. Then the real Erika left the show. In comes the new Erika, some look-alike from Canada, with this new hair. NICE TRY IDOL! This will be talked about for centuries.
Back to the judging..
I thought she sang amazing as always. This bitch can sing but I'm not sure if America likes her.. that is until this haircut! Go Tommy! Can a new haircut actually make you sing better? I'm going to shave my head tonight and try out for X-Factor!
Randy says that she can sing the phone book. He has said this a few times this season. Perhaps be a little more relevant Randy. A phone book? What is this 1973?? How about "she can sing the iPhone contacts". There you go.
My grade A+..... That last joke F---
Josh sang "She's Got a Way" and admits that he has never heard this song. What the shit!
Tommy gets racist and tells Josh that he is more special than black. Still not sure what that meant. During Josh's performance, somehow the song went from Billy Joel to Billy Wonder but i liked it. Nice rendition. Steven Tyler also says that he doesn't know this song?! Steven has said this to some other popular songs as well. What the hell is on his iPod?:
- We Built This City
- Party All the Time by Eddie Murphy
- Ice Ice Baby
- Don't Worry Be Happy
- Jingle Bells by the Barking Dogs
- Bart Simpson's Do the Bartman (which is an incredible song by the way)
- MMM Bop
- Ru'Paul's Supermodel
My Grade B
Skyler sang "Shameless". I dont know the song so i looked it up. Apparently, Garth Brooks did a remake and this is what she is singing. Boooo to this. Make it your own girl! I felt her beginning vocals were really shaking and she shouted a bit during the song. Did anyone else think that the swing guitar player dude looked like the blind contestant, Scott, from a few seasons ago?? Check out dopey Ryan trying to high five a blind guy! hahahahah
My grade - C
Tommy is concerned that Elise is always layered up. I wear a lot of layers. Apparently i am not in style. Shit.
I thought she killed the song.. in a good way. Her sultry voice was perfect and she showed great range; especially at the end. However, what is going to hurt her is the fact that she didn't listen to Tommy and wear the bell bottoms he suggested. Major major failure.
My grade - B (would be an A+ but she didn't wear the bell bottoms)
Phillip sang "Movin' Out" which is exactly what i thought about doing when i heard he was singing this. The mentors and Tommy had a field day with him. Tommy criticized the way he looked and dressed. The DidSter tries to get Phil to NOT hold his guitar. This is like telling Diddy that he cannot wear sunglasses indoors and leather jackets. It's just not going to happen! We learned something very quickly about Phil, as Jimmy and Shitty brought girls by Phil to sing to, he is all about the music. He doesn't care about anything else. I kind of like that about him. As for his singing, i felt the second verse was much better than the first. It was very Phil to me. I felt that at times he sounded like Cookie Monster. Cookie Monster likes to move out. My grade - BAfter his performance, Steven throws Phillip his woman scarf. Phillip, of course, wouldn't be caught dead wearing this thing so he throws it into the groupie pit. The show quickly cuts to commercial as the groupies start a major brawl over the scarf. 3 people were injured and needed medical attention. The whereabouts of the scarf are unknown.
Hollie walks out and before we even see any clips we know that she got some advice from Tommy to show off the girls! Did you see those things? It was like a magic show. Tommy said she is dressed like an old lady.. define old..and so he decides to dress her instead like Liberace's boyfriend in drag. Then had her layer the makeup on to make her look middle aged. I don't get it. Isn't she a teenager or like 20. Let her be herself. What is up with this show!
She sang "Honestly" and i can honestly say it was awesome. The judges gave her a hard time but i really liked it. My grade A
Heejun sang My Life. Tommy got all in a hissy fit when Heejun was making jokes that he wanted to look like Jessica Sanchez which i thought was hysterical.
He started the song off really slow then turns to the piano man and says No No as if he is asking to start over. Suddenly, the pianist (uhh huhh.. pianist..sounds like penis..uh huh huh) switches it up to a fast tempo as Heejun rips his jacket off to reveal a shirt that resembles something that Wizard of Oz rainbow lovers would wear. I felt that some of the song was amazing and some was very bad. I have him high on my list. As long as America still laughs at his jokes, he should go far. However, i think that they will get tired of him soon. It was a great performance but not great singing. He should have sang Scenes From an Italian Restaurant. I think he would have done a good job with that. My grade CJessica sang Everybody has a dream. Tommy gives Jessica advice to wear a short skirt because it will make her look tall; or he just wanted to see those legs. I am not sure. But if this is true, my wife needs to take this advice!
I didn't know the song but i thought she sounded fantastic as always. Her vocals were tremendous. My only criticism is that she didnt go with a short dress as suggested by Tommy. Instead, she went with a very long dress. She looked so short that i was barely able to see her on stage. It was terrible! My grade A+
Colton finished up the show with Piano Man. At one time during the show, i think i yelled "Marry Me Colton" and threw my bra at the TV. It was an incredible version and like Putty said i would buy his single tomorrow if it came out. My grade - A++Colton got some gried from Tommy about his hair. Perhaps, Colton needs to give Tommy some hair styling tips. The Bieber look is over Mr Hilfiger.
Tonight is the results show. Blog to follow. Hopefully P-Shitty performs so i have some good material.
Check out my other American Idol blogs: American Idol 2012
Click here for results show from this week.
